I need to get out of here.
I need my license and a car. I have money, I need a job.
I need to get out of this house.
It's driving me insane, I need to be out of here soon or this will all end in tears.
I nearly hit breaking point for the second time in 2 days. There is too much conflict, too much antagonising, too little room to move, too much confusion.

A list.
1. Get computer back and working
2. Apply for jobs
3. Buy Car
4. Drive to interviews, drive with whoever will allow me to drive, get a lesson or 3
5. Get P's
6. Get job
7. Use saved money + new source of income to move out
8. Be happy and stop looking so fucking gaunt

It's a well known fact that every teenager reaches a point where they have to fly away. Take that leap out of the nest, some people know they have fully developed wings or they wait a while until they know their wings are fully developed. Others are too thick to realise their wings aren't quite 'ready'. But there are variables to this. For instance, my situation.
In keeping with this 'wings' metahpor, you could say that although my wings need to develop and i am aware of this, there is a constant urge to jump from the nest as soon as i can, with wings or deformed stubs hanging from my back!
Now! In keeping with this analogy, the choice to jump from the nest or not is often that, A CHOICE! Unfortunately, it isn't a choice as much as it is a choice to duck away from a gun that is pointed at your forehead, it's an instinct. To fight this instinct is to have inner conflict, which over time wears down ones sanity until finally, one jumps from the nest in a final effort to grasp hold of what little sanity is left.
And this is my predicament, I still have the sanity to stay in the nest and attempt to fulfill the above tasks and glide gracefully into singular existence. Although this is currently being worn down at an exceedingly fast pace. If i don't acquire my P-plates and ability to flee this house soon, i will in fact snap and go insane, i make no qualms about this.

-Nick